"That's not my name" - some personal reflections

In a break from my normal teaching & learning content, I wanted to share some reflections more personal to me but that I still think are applicable to teachers and schools, particularly when working with young people or colleagues of colour or who don't have stereotypically Anglo-European names. A few years ago, I experienced a number of occasions of people misspelling my name. This was not new to me, unfortunately it has happened regularly throughout my life, but this time it felt different. Maybe it was the quick succession of the incidents, or that some of them were quite high-profile, but I felt a call to action. So I circulated an anonymous blog within the organisation I worked for at the time outlining the impact this has on me and how often it occurs to people of colour. I'd kept it anonymous for two reasons:

1. I wanted to emphasise that the problem is wider than just me, so I keeping it anonymous emphasised that this could easily have been from anyone with a less Anglo/European sounding name.

2. I also didn't want to the people who'd made those mistakes to be identifiable and face any repercussions - as emotionally impactful as those moments were for me, I could acknowledge they were just mistakes and that they'd been rectified so wanted to leave that in the past.

Several years have passed since, and I've recently found myself in the same situation. Again. It's worth saying that it hasn't been a gap of several years, these incidents have occurred throughout that time, but again there's been a quick succession of them this time around that has affected me more so than previously. I was speaking to a colleague about these incidents recently and in the course of the conversation realised the emotional toll these moments take on me. It's never personal. It's always an honest mistake. But it's always the same feeling - having the wind gut-punched out of you. So when these incidents occur I find myself having to regulate my emotions in order to avoid outwardly displaying the immense anger/frustration/sadness that I feel. This isn't a bad thing, self-regulation is an important part of navigating the world. But I then found myself getting even more frustrated because I was having to manage my emotions for someone else's mistake. Again. And that's the bit that got to me. The 'again'. Regulating myself in those moments is a challenge, but the necessary and appropriate action to take as not doing so would overlook the accidental nature of the mistake. But after the 8th, 9th, 10th...time, it becomes tiring.

I'm tired of having to correct people who misspell my name, especially when it's visible on emails/Teams/google. I'm tired of having to regulate my emotions for the same thing again and again and again. I'm tired of having my day thrown off because this situation has happened again. I'm tired of feeling othered.

And crucially, this experience is not unique to me. I can guarantee that the overwhelming majority of people who don't have a stereotypically Anglo-European name, particularly people of colour, would share these experiences. Some of us are able to challenge and correct people. But what about our pupils? Would they really feel comfortable or confident challenging their teachers if the same mistake is made? Are they able to articulate the impact that it has on them, going to school and potentially experiencing this othering time after time?

So, for the sake of those young people, myself, and others who have been in similar situations, I'm going to be more directive than I perhaps normally am in my work and offer some concrete actions. When you are dealing with a name that is not stereotypically Anglo-European:

• Take time to see how someone has spelt their name.

• When you're dealing with a name that's less familiar, take even more time.

• Then check.

• And check again.

• And again.

• And tell your friends & colleagues to do the same thing.

• If you’re not sure, check with a friend or colleague.

• And if you’re still really not sure, just ask the person.

And if you do make a mistake and you are corrected, acknowledge and accept that person correcting you may come across as blunt or rude, but it's not personal - it's because this is just the latest incident in a long line of the same mistakes that, over time, can become tiring to deal with.